Be Still and Know that I am God

I was just looking at quotes about life one day when I came across this one by Japanese writer Haruki Murakami: “In everybody’s life, there’s a point of no return. And in very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive.”

This took me back to a point in my life a couple of years ago where I felt I was just “stuck”. Can’t turn back, unable to move forward, absolutely no idea what to do but just “survive” or “exist”.

Those were some very dark days. We were in the middle of one of life’s storms and no matter how hard we tried or how long we waited, there was no swimming out, there was no sailing through, not a single ray of light. It’s a point where the darkness slowly eats you and you’re not sure if you should just allow it to or if you should fight back.

Every time I sat to pray those days, there were no words, just tears, tears, and more tears. I used to ask the Lord, “Lord, I honestly have no idea what your will is or what I should be praying for, but whatever it is, You know what is best, and I trust your plans. Please give us the strength to get through this.”

One day, as I was sitting in His presence in tears, broken-hearted and weary, I saw a vision. There was a young woman, she was about my age. She was kneeling on the ground, eyes closed, and head bent forward. Her face looked tired, yet serene. She was in kind of a room, it appeared to be her house. There was a window, a rug, and a floor lamp. I’m not entirely clear about the rest of the furniture, but I do clearly recall that the room was slowly being torn away by a storm that was raging outside. There was thunder, lightning, strong winds, trees being uprooted, and I could literally see the walls of the room crack up and crumble away brick by brick, and yet through all of this, this woman did not budge. Her face was still serene and peaceful, and she did not move from her position. It was then that I heard this voice, saying, “Be still and know that I am God”.

I paused. I didn’t know how to react. I just paused, stopped crying, and froze in mind, body, and soul. It was then that I realized that there was no point in trying to swim against the current and that I should just let go, stay afloat and let the current take me where I was meant to go. And I did. I let go of everything… all the stress, the worry, the anxiety, the pressure to decide what to do next… I laid it all at His feet and told him I’m not going to fight anymore… and that I would just wait for things to take their place according to His plan in His time, and that in the meantime, He should keep me from drowning.

It was a long wait, and it definitely wasn’t easy. But we got through it, and He helped us survive it. When I look back I have no idea how we kept it together, it’s just beyond my comprehension.

One thing I did learn is that sometimes when things don’t go according to plan and we are ‘stuck’ without being able to go back or move forward, we just need to let go and let things fall into place in His time, the way He meant for them to be. And during this time, we just need to Be Still. Be Still in His presence, Be Still while we wait for Him to reveal the plans He has for our lives, and Be Still while we can’t stand the anxiety of suspense. For He is a God greater than every problem life can throw at us, and while he’s working things out for our good we just need to let it all go, into His hands, and Be Still.